PLEDGE 4 NEW CLEAR DAZE

"I hereby pledge to breathe ammonia till I grow gills"

"I hereby pledge to grow a tolerance to mercury"

"I hereby pledge a devotion to the dysmorphological"

"I hereby pledge to lead the way by example towards the exalted discipline of teratogenesis"

"I hereby pledge to hold my congenital malformations in the highest esteem"

"I hereby pledge to help lead all mutants into the next stage of our advancement as a species"

"I hereby pledge to never get enough insecticides, herbicides, and sapienicides in my daily diet"

"I hereby pledge abuse of intoxicants to be mandatory, if only slightly"

"I hereby pledge to accept all forms of recombinant pathogenicity"

"I hereby pledge to worship all viruses, bacteria, fungi, protozoa, and higher parasites"

"I hereby acknowledge our role as homo sapiens sapiens as being entirely subservient to this Higher Order Of Pathogens"

"I hereby dedicate my life to suffering and passion",

"So be it; truly. "